A Prayer for Cauldron Time

Startle me back to reality
on this land that I love
remembering my place
in the weeds and wind
flames sprouting from my shoulders
and roots springing from my toes.
Reborn each day beneath
a wide sky,
a cathedral of branches,
and a daily baptism
made of mud and stones.
Coax me into the cauldron
that I might steep in the stuff
of my own knowing,
savor the flavor
of my own mystery,
and stretch my fingers
into the singing recipe
of my own renewal.
Let me bite deeply
into the choicest portion
of my own life
and be nourished from within
wildly and well.

I haven’t been able to sink as deeply into the Cauldron as I envisioned this month–the etsy shop is still open (just no custom orders), we still have employees coming in three days a week, and homeschool co-op is gearing up for the fall session. However, I’m doing what I can and remembering that it is often in the mess that the story lives. As I’ve noted in the past, often what bubbles up from the cauldron during this down time/time off/period of incubation isn’t particularly pretty. It can be hard to confront. This month what I am confronting is how often I deny myself that which I wish/seek/desire. This has actually been a theme for a large part of this year, but it is really brought into sharp relief during my Cauldron time. I crave long swaths of time, I crave stillness, I crave depth, I crave reflection. And, yet, when the time is carved out to provide those things for myself, I don’t allow it. It is as if I’m scared to give myself what I need. So, it is interesting to consider how often it may be that it is me that withholds things from myself, not that I am unable to get my needs met by others or the environment/life circumstances. I’m continuing to consider the whys here, continuing to let it bubble, continuing to breathe.


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