What is it that calls me in the night?
I look up
She’s pouring tea across from me
a patterned rhythm to her movements that speaks
of sacred knowing.
A door opens
She is ready to share
and yet, I slip away
through the undercurrents of time
falling down out of space
out of memory
out of song
and out of touch.
in a soft bed
my arm curled around my nursling
hearing his breath in the dark
what I am missing
what I’m forgetting
and what remembering
is right here…
What is whispering to you lately? What dreams are you dreaming? (Whether consciously/intentionally for your life or while you are asleep.)
Our whole household has been dealing with a particularly nasty virus lately and several lines from the poem above, which I wrote several years ago, have come floating back to me several times as I experience broken sleep and the sensation that something is whispering to me in the dreamtime that I can’t take the time to absorb/listen to…little fragments of significant and profound dreams that slide just out of reach as I try to recall them…
As an interesting side note, I recently received a copy of Dreamwork for the Initiate’s Path by Shauna Knight to review. Perhaps I will find some guidance there.
I was sick at exactly this same time last year too and it resulted in a lingering cough that did not fully go away until January of this year. (Yes, really!) I’m trying to learn from this experience so the same thing doesn’t happen again this year. I almost feel like this is my chance to have a re-do of the things I did wrong last year in terms of taking care of myself. I’ve been thinking about my Cauldron Month plans for August and “calling it in,” letting my own self incubate and steep rather than feeling pushed to generate all of the time. While thinking about this, chose some cards and got False Indigo from the Botanical Inspirations Oracle and the message was “Immersion and Intuition.” Exactly. I need to pull in, immerse myself, and listen deeply. I also received the Crescent Moon from Womanrunes, the same card I actually lost under the deck last week and now have drawn three days in a row. This is a card of divination, ritual, and the doorway to the unknown. I need to give myself time. I have some important decisions I need to make and I need time alone and in my own head (and heart!) in order to make them. I made the decision shut off Facebook on my phone and I am amazed and delighted about how helpful this has already been in “defragmenting” my brain.
“I trust the mystery. I trust what comes in silence and what comes in nature where there’s no diversion. I think the lack of stimulation allows us to hear and experience a deeper river that’s constant, still, vibrant, and real. And the process of deep listening with attention and intention catalyzes and mobilizes exactly what’s needed at that time.”
What do you trust? Can you hear the “deeper river”?
(Side note: Tanner helped me set up the heart-full flower of life crystal grid above: “Needs more hearts, mama!”)