Telling About It: Miscarriage Goddess Sculpture

October 2015 016Six years ago today, I experienced the death-birth of our third baby. A tiny boy, he was born at home early in my second trimester of pregnancy. His birth shaped the course of my life and my work from that point forward, a powerful legacy from one so small. I’ve explained before of the power of the footprints on my heart symbol as representative of his impact on my life. On his third birthday, I created a new miscarriage goddess sculpture to add to our line of sculptures. This mama carries the imprint of loss and grief on her body. She carries her baby’s story with her. The imprint is permanent, the footprints on her heart forever. She will never be the same. She carries it with tenderness and with honor. This is her baby’s legacy and the lives of these little ones is not forgotten.

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Our house is very busy right now packing up orders, visiting with out of state company, and more. On this day, six years ago however, I was plunged into the depths of grief. Today, our house is full with our four energetic, demanding children, but we never forget the one who didn’t get to stay. The kids asked me this morning how old Noah would have been and what he would have looked like and how our house would feel if he was here now too. We talked about whether or not Alaina or Tanner would have been born without him and we thought how sad it would be to have them not exist, so we are grateful to Noah for making them possible for our family. I can hardly believe it has been six years. It is hard to remember sometimes how it felt and what is was like to be brought so low and to feel so sad, broken, and despairing. A lot of beautiful work came out of the death-birth of our little third son.

We remember you, little one. Happy Birthday!

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